


The Elephant in the Room

by PhantomEngineer



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Gen, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-06 00:45:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17929556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhantomEngineer/pseuds/PhantomEngineer
Summary: One night, when they are all breaking curfew like the rebels they are, Severus and Lily encounter the Marauders and discover that they are Animagi - a dog, a stag and an elephant. This is that scene.





	The Elephant in the Room

**Author's Note:**

> For some reason the thought 'what if, instead of being a rat, Peter was an elephant Animagus' entered my head.

“Wait,” Lily said, waving her hands about as if attempting to pause time, “You guys are Animagi too?”

“I’m not,” Remus retorted indignantly, as if she had hurled a grave accusation at them, which given that being an unlicensed Animagi was in fact illegal she kind of had, “I’m a werewolf,”

There was a pause, as if he was suddenly regretting having declared that. The wind rustled gently through the leaves of the trees, as if the Forbidden Forest was entirely disinterested in the dramatic revelations taking place in it. Alternatively, it was just a forest and therefore incapable of such conscious thoughts. No studies had been done on it, mainly because most academics didn’t bother researching the opinions of trees, possibly due to a combination of lack of funding and also curing illnesses like cancer being generally regarded as slightly more important in the grand scheme of things.

“Yeah,” James declared proudly, not in the least interest in the inner monologues that the surrounding trees may or may not be having. He was far more interested in impressing Lily, who was never impressed by anything he did and had he truly thought about it might not be that impressed by his declaration of the fact that they’d all just casually broken the law.

“A stag, a dog and an elephant,” Sirius completed smugly, who was always proud at breaking any sort of rule. He had a list of the school rules noted down, and was crossing them off as he went. He had also made a provisional list of the laws that he was aware of, but was starting to become a little bit hesitant at his attempt to break all of them given that that list also included rather weighty crimes like murder and rape. He didn’t think he wanted to do things like that. It seemed to be taking the whole bad boy rebel aesthetic a bit far.

“Wait,” Remus interrupted, “What do you mean, by too?”

“Fuck that,” Severus said dismissively, not willing to go into the fact that he and Lily had made becoming Animagi a summer project as a part of their let’s-avoid-Dark-Magic-and-remain-friends initiative. It was both illegal and not actually Dark Magic, which made it both a fantastic compromise and also a completely dubious choice. 

“Who’s the elephant?” he asked, looking between the Marauders. It was really the most important question, as the image of an elephant in the north of Scotland somehow seemed surreal. Peter put up his hand silently. They all looked at him. He was not particularly physically impressive. Quietly, he changed into an elephant, towering over them all. He waved his long trunk in a slightly embarrassed fashion, flapped his ears and then returned to being a teenaged boy with rather pink cheeks.

Lily nodded in an impressed fashion. “Nice,” she said. She’d always liked elephants and had been incredibly disappointed that her parents had refused her request to have one as a pet. She had sworn that she would look after it, but they had not taken her seriously. She had shortly afterwards met Severus and accepted being friends with him as being an acceptable compromise. She had not told him this, which was probably for the best. 

Severus had never seen an elephant before in his life, so it was proving to be quite an educational evening. “How the fuck has no one noticed an elephant?” he asked, realistically. Elephants were both rather large animals and also distinctly not native to the Scottish highlands, even accounting for the weirdness of the Forbidden Forest. 

Remus shrugged, “People are unobservant?” he suggested, never having quite figured that out himself. No one had noticed he was a werewolf, and he was wondering slightly about whether he should be offended or concerned about the lack of reaction to him accidentally having declared it.

“I’m really quite quiet,” Peter protested, “And I can be very light on my feet…”


End file.
